“I don’t look like what I’ve been through”. He was right. At 50-something years old his face was younger than his years, with a genuine smile and kind eyes that were full of life. The struggles with cocaine and the legal system hadn’t left any visible scars; but hearing him speak, you knew they were there. He was graduating from an extended treatment program and was hopeful for the future. Just looking at him you’d never know the hardships of his past.
As I considered his words, I reflected on my life and how that statement applies to most of us. I don’t look like all I’ve been through (thank goodness) and I’m sure you don’t either. Neither do our clients. I have to admit I’ve been caught off guard before by seriously mentally ill clients who look incredibly, for lack of a better term, normal.
I realize we all likely know this from experience but I think it’s important enough to deserve a reminder from time to time. More often than not, people do a very good job of hiding the fear, hurt and pain they’ve experienced. Some in fact, work very hard at keeping those things hidden. Don’t be fooled into believing everyone who “looks okay” is; be curious, be inquisitive and look at what’s inside.
3 thoughts on “Don’t judge…”
I would agree with this statement in regards to not judging. Unforunately, we live in a world where judging other people will natually occur due to high levels of fear, lack of knowledge, and denial…
It’s only when a person has truly developed a certain level of discernment through life experience as well as willing to reconize and to set aside their own prejudices to seek the truth in the common thread that links us to what we call “the human experience”…
Thanks for the comment. in fact, I think “judging” is a human survival skill that we use to analyze the unknown…I just think as counselors we have to be incredibly aware of the danger of underestimating pathology in patients who are able to maintain outward appearances.
Humans tend to judge and deal in stereotyping those persons whom we do not know. This means that we often miss out on dealing with each other as individuals.
Comments are closed.