What is appropriate counselor attire? I don’t recall much discussion in my college coursework regarding appropriate dress for the counseling profession. Judging from the attire of some in the field, neither does anyone else.
I was recently using the Psychology Today Find a Therapist tool to locate a referral in another city. I was surprised by some of the pictures used by counselors to advertise their practice. On a few, I couldn’couldn’t tell if it was a practice listing or a page from a dating site. As bad as some of them were, the headshots on networking sites such as Linkedin are often considerably worse.
I remember attending my first statewide counseling conference. There were people in everything from formal wear to pajama pants. That’s right; pajama pants…flannel…at a professional counseling conference. There was also someone in a mink hat and coat and everything in between.
Now believe me, I’m no expert on clothing or fashion. I tend to wear the same basic attire most days of the week in most months of the year. I may add a sport jacket or sweater in the winter months but otherwise, I’m pretty predictable.
I was wearing a pair of shorts around the house last week when someone pointed out a cigarette burn in the leg. I haven’t smoked cigarettes in years. Apparently I haven’t gotten rid of many clothes either.
In spite of my frugality, I try to dress appropriately for my work setting and that often varies from day to day. My “going to be in meetings all day attire” is different than my “going to court attire”, which is different than my “meeting with clients for eight hours attire”.
Counselor dress plays a similar role to office decoration and appropriate display of credentials. Your attire can communicate a message of competence and professionalism. It can also communicate the opposite. As we all know, non-verbal communication often speaks louder than words.
I realize many of these items will fall into the category of “common sense” for some of you. However, based on my observations from the field, good sense is much less common than you would expect. With that in mind, here are 8 things to remember when deciding what not to wear:
1. Clothing that is foreign to your clientele
It’s important to consider your clientele and dress appropriately. What may be perfect for a private practice serving adult professionals may be off-putting when working with a homeless population.
Some traditional clothing from minority cultures might be appropriate if members of that culture are the only clients you serve. Otherwise, it may be a distraction to both clients from the dominate culture or and those from other minority cultures. It could even be a distraction to members of the same culture.
If your dress code allows, try to dress one to two steps above what a typical client would wear. If your clients are mostly blue-collar, business casual would be great. If the clients wear business casual, you’re probably going to need to step it up a notch.
If you’re working with homeless, keep it simple but professional and never pretentious. If young children are your primary focus, you probably need something that allows you get in the floor without violating common decency standards.
2. A bold statement of personal identity
Remember, the counseling relationship is not about you. While you may have an awesome presentation in your personal life, clients don’t need to be bombarded with the message of your personal identity and beliefs. Again, it’s not about you.
Flashy or statement jewelry, excessive tattoos, lapel pins and other statements of personal identity don’t really belong in the counseling relationship. Save them for after hours and weekends. While a few clients may think your nose ring and ear gauges are cool…many others will not take you or your counseling interventions seriously.
3. Radical or faddish hairstyles
Hairstyle can be a little more difficult because it’s not a matter of putting it on and taking it off. Primary colors, cutting edge styles or the latest fads in facial hair can distract attention from the client and the work at hand. While a few clients may find you more “real” as a result of your style, others may be put off by it. Bold hair colors and styles are acceptable and even appropriate for many fields and professions…this isn’t one of them.
4. Excessive makeup
I’m thankful men are not expected to wear makeup in our culture. I don’t envy the process that many women endure almost daily. I think it would be great if we could get beyond the societal pressures for women to wear some type of makeup but I recognize we’re not there.
As a result, make-up is probably a fact of life for many female counselors. Wear it tastefully. Use it to hide blemishes and imperfections. Just don’t go overboard or try to present yourself in a sexual manner. Your lips don’t need to be super shiny fire engine kiss me red for a counseling session. Tri-color eye shadow isn’t necessary. Your eyelashes don’t need to be extra thick and two inches long.
5. Overpowering cologne or perfumes
Some of us are very sensitive to perfumes and other odors. Again, you’re not looking for a mate here so save some of the more memorable scents for after hours. You don’t want to be known as that counselor that “smells really good”. You also don’t want to be the one that “makes my eyes burn”.
6. Wrinkled or worn clothing
You don’t have to spend a fortune on clothing to look nice. While more expensive clothing can sometimes last longer, you can still find good quality clothing at an affordable price. While I may wear shorts at home with a hole in the leg, I would never consider doing that with work clothes.
Your clothing should be clean and unwrinkled. You don’t want to look like you grabbed your cleanest dirty shirt as you rushed out the door. Either learn to iron, have someone else do it, or buy clothes that really don’t require much care. Keep your clothes clean and folded or on hangers. Wrinkle resistant doesn’t mean you can throw it in the corner and expect to look professional the next day.
7. Symbols of wealth or extravagance
A few clients might be impressed with your Rolex watch or designer clothes but most will start thinking seriously about your hourly rate. Even if your clients have money, they probably won’t be impressed with obvious symbols of wealth.
I recently read that the majority of millionaires have never bought a watch that cost more than a few hundred dollars. You’re probably not going to impress them, or anyone else for that matter, with displays of extravagance.
8. Clothing that emphasizes sexuality
Your attractiveness and sexuality should never be the focal point of the counseling relationship. Unfortunately, I’ve seen counselors wear attire that, while perfectly appropriate for other settings, is sending the wrong message for a counselor’s office.
Skirts that are too short, blouses that show cleavage, men with shirts unbuttoned to show their chest, or pants that are snug in all the wrong places may be acceptable in other professions but can be a real distraction in a counseling office. Remember, you’re not looking for a date; you’re helping people work through some of their most personal and difficult problems.
I’m sure there are more examples and I’m equally sure some of you won’t agree with all of my observations. Many will think I’m being too conservative or prudish. I respectfully disagree. While I don’t want to stifle anyone’s personal taste or identity, I believe the counseling profession is a serious calling that requires we sacrifice a certain amount of our identity expression in the interest of our profession.
If you can think of any obvious items I’ve neglected, I’d love to hear from you in the comments section of the blog. Thanks for reading and sharing your experiences.
36 thoughts on “Counselor Attire: 8 Things Not to Wear”
It is so refreshing to hear a professional address this issue. You sum it all up with the reminder that it’s not about the counselor (ever). I observed the low cut blouses, short mini skirts and 4-6in stilettos during grad school and wondered if I was in the wrong class on occasion. First of all, a marriage that is in trouble doesn’t need an added issue of the spouse flirting with the therapist (or the other spouse making this assumption). Does a child in play therapy need to look up and see whats under the therapists skirt? or what about the teen struggling with low self-image and wondering why he/she doesn’t look as “sexy” as the counselor? I’m all for people presenting themselves however they want, but what is the goal for that in the therapeutic relationship?
Thanks for the comments. This topic certainly touched some nerves with some who thought I was promoting a particular type of dress or being culturally insensitive. I was reading today about the power of first impressions and how quickly clients start deciding whether or not we can help them. If my attire can make a better first impression, then it may be as important as any other part of the first meeting.
This article brings to the forefront how important it is to be yourself no matter what. Those who seek your services will be there, because they want to. Different strokes for different folks.
Daniel makes some good points here, especially regarding the problems associated dress that sexualizes the female persona and draws too much attention to sexual anatomy
I don’t agree with most of this especially living in San Francisco. My culture is my identity and if people don’t like my look, ethnicity, my traditions etc. then they should not be coming to me for services. The dominant-hegemony gets to strut their dominance it all aspects of life and in the counseling settings. I am so tired to being told that my ethnic identity is a DISTRACTION. How about the dominate hegemonic ID as my distraction which made people like me, assimilate and loose my self, to be made invisible and not viable. Some of these suggestions are culturally incompetent and culturally biased, especially for those of us who work with mainly people of color and other undeserved populations who only come to us because of our identities, personal POV, ethnic ID, and out cultural lenses. However, I do agree with a few of your points: No perfumed stuff (some clients are chemically sensitive) and dressing in sexually charged manner (that is not good, can be a trigger).
I think you may have missed the part where he said “foreign TO YOUR CLIENTELE.” If your clients are comfortable with your style of ethnic dress, go for it. Counseling is not about YOU or expressing YOURself, but if the expression of an ethnic identity is helpful to your CLIENTS, then, by all means dress that way.
Thanks for pointing that out. I think some may have become a little upset with my references to cultual attire and missed the overall spirit of my comments.
I agree with your statement. there are common sense things that should not be done. however, my connection with my clients comes from me being myself which allows them to feel i am genuine and really believe in helping them. My clients do not perceive me as above them, just having more time then they have and that i have the ability to help them, because of the example I set. .
I agree, we have to be ourselves. I still believe the therapeutic relationship is one of the most important factors. I just don’t want anything about my appearance to interfere with that relationship.
I appreciate your comment but continue to believe it’s important to separate and analyze what I’m doing for my benefit and what I’m doing for my client’s benefit. I do believe we’ve robbed a number of cultures (including those of us who make up the dominate culture) of parts of their identity and cultural systems that create health and wellness. As a result, we’ve all lost something of our humanity.
Again, I’m not as concerned with the cultural and ethnic identity of the counselor as I am with that of the client.
Wow. I have to say that I work mainly with people of color, and also the homeless, and I agree with what was said in this article. And as was said it really isn’t about me, but about the ones that I serve. I can and do express myself, without that being the main thing noticed or identified as me.
Agree – clients who do not agree with a Dress or Look or Ethnicity of the professional will select themselves out within the first few sessions, if not the first.
Great list! Serves as a wonderful reminder of we should be considerate of the clientele we serve and the perceptions/misconceptions they may have of us both personally and professionally based on our attire. Thank you!
Some of this is very relevant in terms of thinking of the clientele, the setting, and the goals of the setting. I do need to take exception to aspects referring to cultural aspects of expression however. This is an important way we communicate values to clients for reasons that are for the clients’ benefit (we are not blank slates after all) and some clients benefit from being able to identify physical cues about whether this is a safe place. Sue and Zane’s article on discussion about credibility is a good guideline. What is the measure that clients use to determine our credibility? I also need to take exception to the comment posted that stated “The hijab is not professional garb”. This is inaccurate and I believe if there is a work environment in which a hijab, turban, or any other religious or cultural dress that holds significant meaning (especially for those whose group has been historically oppressed) then perhaps there is some education needed in that environment. I do appreciate the comment that watching clients’ reactions is useful and then making personal decisions based on that (I appreciate the commenter presented both sides). But, to classify it as “not professional” perpetuates cultural dominance.
Thanks for your comments. I guess my take on cultural expression is to ask “for whose benefit” is the expression being made. If it’s for benefit the client, fine. If it’s for the counselor, I question the appropriateness.
I do enjoy reading this! I remember working with a substance abuse mandated parolee population in NYC with a young woman who was 5 feet tall and wore 6 inch heals with mini skirts with this male population. They just came out of prison and we coming to us for substance abuse counseling mandates. I would always cringe when I saw her and was truly afraid for her well being. This article should be added to Psychology 101. Thanks!
Most of our clients are criminal justice referred so I’m especially sensitive to that type of problem.
Interesting discussion. Daniel thank you for the article. I remember this issue being discussed at length on linkedin at some point early this year and therapists had varied opinions. Its so true that its not about us but those that we help. I was hoping though that you will touch on colours; bright versus neutral/natural colours in our choice of attire. what colours would you consider to be appropriate to wear ?
I haven’t done much research into the effects of colors but I have heard blue has been shown to create feeling of trust in others. I’m sure there’s research someplace on the subject and I’ll look for it. That may be a good topic for a future post.
Thank You Daniel, i haven’t researched on this but i understand some colours have calming effect whilst others may be agitating to clients going through certain emotional trauma or challenges e.g wearing “loud” colours like red whilst supporting/helping those grieving or those in mourning. Am Looking forward to reading more from this blog.
I typicaly dress buisness causal but not jeans and t-shirts.
For me, my office “attire” is just as important. I have a couple of the pictures I took when visiting the Grand Canyon. I have a small UNC “flag” , since I am a die hard fan.
I have a couple of posters form SAMHSA that promote recovery. I work for a non-profit organization that provides substsnce use treatment and mental health treatment for individuals on probation or court ordered. I want clients to feel comfortable and relaxed . The first thing people say when they first enter my office is “you’re a Carolina fan” and then “did you take those pictures”, (Grand Canyon). This is a great ice breaker.
Spelling is not my strength. (As you can see)
Leigh, I smiled as I read your reply. Over the past year I’ve collected the Scotch high heels/pumps tape dispensers. I have turquoise set on my desk which includes the high heel platform, clutch purse (post it notes) and compact (post it notes). It has been such a HUGE ice breaker for me with a lot of the women who come in a defense mindset.
Hi, if your Client suffers from PTSD…. bright Fire Engine Red Lipstick or Clothing … may not be the Color to wear! And if Client made Therapist awareof this… “Why” would Therapist accuse “Client” of trying to control her? Any thoughts?
Thank You Rosemary, this helps a lot. I don’t know much about colours but i remember reading some where that certain colours can be agitating for certain clients.
Thank you for the perfume hint. As an asthmatic, I’ve had to leave trainings and meetings because of the overwhelming odor of perfume and cologne. I wish we could pass that on to our clients also. The PJ’s belong at home, and at home only. When did it become okay to go out in public in PJ’s?
Very well written.
I appreciate what you said about not wearing expensive or extravagant jewelry. It’s true that some clients (particularly those who are mandated to treatment) may begin to wonder (silently or aloud) whether you’re making too much money. It’s also true that if you’re trying to attract more affluent clients, some may be put off by an ostentatious display of wealth.
I’ve worked a lot with court mandated clients and the common refrain we hear from many is “it’s all about the money”. It certainly wouldn’t help if counselors are attempting to appear affluent. With that particular population I think casual but professional is important.
Great article and spot-on in my opinion.
thank you.
The issue of a counselor’s attire is something I speak about to graduate counseling students. My philosophy is: if I am charging that much for an hour of my time, I sure better dress the part.
Thanks GG, I agree with the sentiment completely and would add that even those who are indigent and relying on someone else to pay still deserve a minimum level of professional attire. Thanks for commenting.
Excellent article. I’ll be referencing it with new staff. Even more seasoned staff sometimes forget the messages that can be sent by physical appearance and shouldn’t be offended by a friendly reminder
Thank you…I think we all (myself included) probably those reminders from time to time.
Thank You Suzanne; this helps to stress the fact that its not all about out us but those that we serve and that how we dres does impact on our clientele whether we would like to admit it or not. Thank You Daniel for tabling this for discussion. Am leaarning a lot from the rest of you. Happy holidays!.
Many years ago I worked in a supported housing program for mentally ill adults. This was during the time when girls were wearing leggings with long shirts over them not always covering their buttucks. We had several men in the program,some having personality disorders. I brought up the idea of appropriate dress in our staff meetings a couple of times to have the director tell me that the clothes that I was concerned about were of no concern. Interestingly enough, the day of my “going away party” from this same program, one of the men thanked me for NEVER confusing him by dressing as if I wanted to date him. He explained that he knew that the younger counselors weren’t interested in dating him, yet they were dressing in a sexual fashion and thus confusing him.
I also had a client who complained of a very over weight therapist who was “busting” out of her shirt. She figured that if she was that out of control with herself, how could she be of any help to her. So it isn’t just about the clothes one wears, it is about the sort of role model you are in how you are living your own life that will resonate or not with a potential client as well.
I don’t see anything wrong with using tasteful eye makeup in a professional manner or wearing nice jewelry to accent your outfit. What I do have a problem with is people who think that there is only one way to dress to be “professional.” We attract the sorts of clients we do by how we present our selves. With that in mind, I would say that the most important presentation is one of being interested in our clients and really caring about helping them to love themselves enough to gain what they came to treatment to gain. It is with that attitude that the client is going to resonate with us or not.
The way we dress is part of connecting with the client, similar to body language and word usage. I think the best way is to dress smart casual. That will convince the client that you are a professional but not high above them. It may be okay to observe Casual Friday if your clients tend to dress casually.
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